Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
by ChocolateLover82
Summary: Once a week we spend time together, showing with music and dance everything we can't say with words. How many lessons will it take us to say the only three little words that matter the most? AH, ExB.
1. Lesson One: Flirting

**Hello, lovelies.**

**So, I wrote this little thing last year to be part of the SU4K compilation. Thank you so much to anyone who was a part of that, in any way, shape or form. :-) If you didn't get the chance to read it, well, now you have it, lol. **

**I only submitted chapter one of this short story to the comp, so you'll get a little bit more here. And this will be something really short, four chapters total.**

**Also, the lovely Evilnat did a wonderful banner for this story, which you can see in the tiny square up here, lol, or on my profile.**

**Thanks again to my pretty beta Songster for her help.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

'Lesson One: Flirting'

The drive to Port Angeles is pleasant enough this morning. After a week of non-stop raining, the weather finally took a break and let the sun shine with a vengeance. The scenery around me is so alive and green that, for a moment, I don't really mind I'm practically melting sitting here in my car.

It's Saturday morning and just as my friends are sleeping in, or passed out after partying all night, here I am, driving all the way to Port Angeles from Forks to my weekly dance lesson.

I sigh and rub the light scruff on my face. I should've shaved this morning.

It all really started four years ago, when I was in eighth grade. Back then, all I really wanted was to join the basketball team once high school started. It was the only sport I could imagine I'd be good at. I mean, no way was I playing football and baseball was just a concussion waiting to happen. Basketball looked like the safest choice.

Well, safest to _me_, at least.

So, weekends found me trying to practice in my parents' driveway - _trying_ being the key word here – and just as I thought I might be getting better, I kept missing the hoop like nobody's business. It was quite a ridiculous and spastic sight, to be honest.

I can still remember the looks on my parents' faces when they saw me practice each weekend, as they tried to decide if I needed professional help for such level of un-coordination or just let me be, hoping that I might get better in time.

That last one didn't happen.

After I broke a window and hit my Dad in the nose - all in one shot I might add - my Mom had just about enough of it. It was a coincidence that a few days earlier, she had met up with an old friend for lunch, Renee Swan, a dance instructor with a school in Port Angeles. It seemed they talked and talked and my Mom was convinced that I should take dance lessons to help with my coordination.

To say that I resisted is putting it mildly. I hadn't had a tantrum like that since I was seven and my parents didn't get me the go-kart I really wanted. I cringe when I think of my 13-year-old self having a tantrum like that, but there was no way I was taking dance lessons. What would my friends say? And surely I wasn't _that_ bad.

Later that day, my Dad came to my room and talked me into it; he said that I should at least try it and that in the long run it would be good for me. If I had better coordination, I could try out for the basketball team the following year and stop breaking his nose.

Damn him and his good points.

The following week, I reluctantly got inside the car and my Mom drove us to Port Angeles. That was actually one of the few good things about this whole 'taking dance lessons' idea: the place was far enough so none of my friends would find out.

When we got there, the first thing I noticed was that the studio was very different than what I had imagined: this was a small, brick, three-story building. They taught different types of dances: ballroom, salsa, ballet, tap. You name it.

Another thing that hit me when I got there that day was that I'd be the only kid in class. It was rather obvious, but I was sulking too much to think about it before that moment. I looked around the room and all I could see were old couples. Like really old.

I really didn't want to spend an hour week after week dancing with an old lady who smelled funny.

After being introduced to Mrs. Swan, we decided that the best for me would be to take a 'mixed' class. Those kinds of classes rotated different types of dances every couple of weeks, so I wouldn't be stuck with something I didn't like for so long.

When it was time for the first class to start, I got a little scared, if I'm honest. I had no idea what I was doing and I was worried about who was going be my partner? Looking around, I noticed that everyone was already paired up and ready to go. I was ready to bolt when the door to the studio opened and this petite girl entered. She had long black hair tied up into a ponytail and a big friendly smile that made me smile back.

That was the day I met Alice.

She was one of Mrs. Swan's two daughters and was studying to be a dancer. Apparently, she loved dancing so much that when her mother asked her if she wanted to be my partner every week, she agreed immediately. And she didn't even know me. Later on, I learned that was the way Alice was: non-judgmental and giving.

From then on the classes were not so dull. I absolutely sucked at dancing at first, flapping my arms and dragging my feet, but both Alice and Mrs. Swan were very patient with me and after a couple of weeks I was able to move with _some_ grace and not step on Alice's toes.

She was a fucking saint.

Alice was very funny and we talked and laughed all throughout the lessons. It was probably a tactic to make me forget about counting steps and just let go, but it worked perfectly and in those few weeks of meeting her, we became fast friends. She and her sister went to Port Angeles for school, so we were only able to see each other on Saturdays, but it was good anyway.

After six months, my lessons were over and I _did_ improve my coordination, which helped me make the basketball team at school the following year, even though it was only junior varsity at the time. Alice ended up moving to another city to attend a prestigious dance academy in order to become what she always dreamed of.

I didn't come back for more classes the next year; they served their purpose after all, however, I kept in contact with Alice via email. I hadn't seen her since then, almost four years ago, but I still smile when I remember those days. I also cringe a little with embarrassment from my un-coordinated first steps.

About two weeks ago, I was running an errand for Mom in Port Angeles when I bumped into Mrs. Swan. Although she wasn't Swan anymore and asked me to call her Renee from then on. I had heard this from Alice. Still, it was weird to have my ex-teacher asking me to call her Renee.

I was really happy to see her; she had been a great teacher. It was because of her classes that I not only made the basketball team, but they also helped me gain some confidence around girls and dancing at parties. Of course I wasn't mamboing my way through life, but I had my moves.

We talked for a bit about what I was doing, where Alice was, just catching up. She knew prom would be in a couple of months for me and in some kind of voodoo move she convinced me to take a few classes with her once again. To 'dust off my old moves' she had said. I had no idea how she did it, really, but I agreed.

And that's why now I'm heading to that familiar little building.

When Renee sees me enter, she beams so brightly, it makes me remember how she looked like all those years ago and how my Saturday mornings were spent.

I smile back at her, and suddenly taking classes again doesn't seem so bad after all.

I look around the room, just checking things out. It hasn't changed that much in four years: the same big windows facing the street, open so that people could hear the music coming from here; the mirrors in the back, the entire wall covered from floor to ceiling; the excited couples ready to start their lessons, brand new shoes and recently bought clothes just for dancing.

Seeing this familiar setting makes me a little excited as well; I truly hadn't noticed I'd missed this so much.

The sound of the doors opening and closing brings me back and when I turn, I see a girl walking in. Like Alice, she's also petite, wearing a green skirt that reaches just above her knees and a white tank top. She looks so natural and beautiful and just by looking at her, I know she's Renee's other daughter. They share the same face shape and skin color, but her hair is different. This girl has shiny brown waves falling gently down her back, bright from the sun coming through the windows.

She walks over to Renee, and they talk for a while. I can't stop looking at her, even though all I can see from where I'm standing is her profile. I see the glow of her skin, how her lips move while she talks and her hands fly around as if words aren't simply enough to make her point.

Just then, she turns and looks at me, straight in the eyes.

And holy shit, her eyes.

I can't break away from them, even though I probably look like a stalker since we haven't even been introduced yet. They are the darkest shade of green I have ever seen. It matches the color of her skirt and the evergreen from the scenery I had been admiring on my way here from Forks.

I'm even more convinced that coming here is a good idea.

Renee motions me to come over, and I slowly walk towards them. The girl's stare never wavers and neither does mine. It's impossible to turn away from those eyes.

"Edward. This is my other daughter, Bella. Bella, this is Edward, the boy you'd be dancing with." Just as I thought, she's Renee's other daughter. I like Alice but had I known this, I probably would've taken classes more than once a week.

The introduction breaks her gaze,and shaking her head, she extends her hand in my direction.

"Yes, hello, Edward. Nice meeting you." I hold her hand in mine and I feel a million things at once, jolting me: the softness of her skin and flowery scent that hits my nose; the warmth of her body close to mine and the tiny shockwaves that travel from her hand to mine. What is she doing to me? And how am I gonna get through an hour a week of holding her close to me if I react this way just from a handshake?

Her eyes widen and she gasps softly, but doesn't remove her hand from mine. Perhaps she's feeling something similar? I want to ask her but how the hell do I explain a 'tingly feeling' without sounding like a creep? Now _that_ would be an awkward first impression.

We are only interrupted when the music starts to play, and we both turn our heads to the stereo, where Renee is standing. We hadn't noticed she had left us alone. I wonder how long Bella and I have been shaking hands.

This interruption also serves to remind us that we're here to dance and that we're surrounded by people. No time to ask her the million questions I have in my mind. For now, I just settle into the fact that she's about the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

"Shall we?" I clear my throat, and when she nods, I lead her to the dance floor.

Recognizing the music, we take our positions: one of my hands on her waist and the other one holding one of hers. With her free hand, she grazes my shoulder with a soft touch.

And now I'm proven right: the contact with her is so overwhelming it's ridiculous. We're so close, if I bend a little we'd be nose to nose. Like this, I can see her face more clearly: the little lines when she furrows her brows; the slight darker shade of chocolate in her hair close to her neck; the unbelievable green of her eyes. I'm so fixated on her face, that when it's time to start dancing, I forget the steps and I stumble a little. Bella smiles softly at noticing it and _she_ starts guiding _me_.

"I thought you knew how to dance." She looks amused and there is a glow in her eyes, one that makes them look so bright and alive, that right there, I vow to discover how to make them spark that way again. And again.

"Um, yeah, I do. You just caught me off guard." That's an understatement.

She hums softly, and we continue to move. This time I take the lead, since now I'm able to actually remember how to do this.

Close to her like this is amazing; I can feel how her body moves under my palm at her waist and I'm so aware of her touch, that the hand she rests on my shoulder is almost burning me. I never want us to stop touching. I don't care what kind of music we dance to. I just want to hold her close like this, with our hands on each other, feeling her body move through the fabric of her clothes.

When I twirl her, more little details about her overwhelm me: I feel her hair grazing my bare forearms, tickling me; I get a stronger scent of something flowery and sweet hitting my nose; and I feel the slightest contact of her skirt on my legs. That last one is ridiculous since I'm wearing jeans, but it's like I'm aware of every single detail about her.

It's fucking addictive.

"So, tell me, Edward, what did she say to make you come here?" she asks after a few movements. I take a big breath and I'm glad she interrupted the moment. I need to breathe and try to think straight.

"Your Mom? Well, to tell you the truth I have no idea. One moment we were talking about our favorite coffee and the next she's telling me to come on Saturday for classes. She'd be great selling used cars, you know," I tease her while an older couple passes us.

"You're right about that." She laughs, and even with the music slightly drowning the sound, I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. "And actually, Mom is an experienced saleswoman. You wouldn't believe the things she had us eat as kids with just a little convincing."

I nod and smile.

"I can see that about her."

We move between the couples in tune with the melody. Bella is a natural at this, probably because she has been dancing forever, and she makes it look so effortless. I'm not so bad myself, but today I'm in no shape to be any kind of graceful. I just can't stop thinking about how her body moves under my hand, and all I want to do is run it up and down her hips.

I have no self-control, but I must resist.

"So, Edward, tell me about yourself. Since we'll be dance partners, I'd at least like to know who I'm trusting to dip me when the time comes."

"What do you want to know?" _I'll tell you everything_.

" I know a little about you actually, from Alice, but I hardly think you still consider Cheetara hot. I hope." Fuck… Alice.

I laugh uncomfortably, because I see that I told Alice way too much back then.

"You can trust me, you know," I blurt instead, meaning that she can trust me to dip her and with anything she wants.

She stares for a moment, maybe trying to decipher what I meant with my words and smiles softly but doesn't say anything. I just love the way her lips curl right then.

"Well, not much to tell about me." I start talking. "I'm a senior at Forks High, and next year I'll be going to Northwestern University to study medicine. I play basketball and apparently, I'm easily convinced." I shake my head. In reality, more and more I'm thankful for Renee convincing me to come here.

"You might wanna keep that last bit to yourself. Someone might want to take advantage of your innocent side." She teases, but we are _so_ close to each other, I can barely think beyond the little glint in her eyes when she said that.

"Innocent side? Then you don't know me, Bella. I can be very, very bad." At flirting, apparently. What the hell did I just say?

"Really?" Her voice is a whisper and had it not been that we are so close to each other, I would've missed it. It almost sounds innocent, like she really wants me to answer her how bad I can be, but the look in her face says something very different.

Her eyes widen slightly and I see her breathing a little more heavily, her tongue slowly licks her lips. Right then, I feel the biggest urge to kiss them, to taste her and check if she tastes as sweet as the scent that hits my nose every time she's close.

I'm _so_ fucked.

"You have no idea how bad I can be," I say just as softly as her words and lean forward just a little. The words 'kiss her' are repeating over and over in my head.

That movement seems to break Bella's stare at me and, backing away, she shakes her head and smiles, leaving things at that. I feel a pang of sadness seeing her retreat like that, but what more can I expect? We've just met and trying to kiss her right now might not be appropriate.

So, we just keep dancing, but all that time I can't keep my eyes away from her face. She's so beautiful, and it's not even just about her features, there is almost an aura around her that makes her shine.

She stares at me as we dance, giving me a curious look from time to time, like she's trying to figure me out or something. I'm hardly an enigma to figure out and at this point, I'd tell her everything she wants to know about me. She just has to ask.

"I love this song," Bella says, turning her head to the speakers when a new song starts to play.

I listen and I recognize it as 'Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps' by Doris Day. The fact that I actually know this makes me cringe a little. That's just not normal.

"Oh, Doris. Long time friends, you know." I say seriously.

"Really? Maybe you can introduce us." She giggles.

Fuck… that giggle. Is it possible to be enamored with a giggle?

I have no idea what comes over me after that. That last giggle hypnotized me? The fact that I've been holding her close this entire time killed my apprehension? I don't know, but I right then, my next move feels _right_.

I bring her flush to me, starting to move my hips slowly in tune with the melody.

She gasps a little and her hands tighten around my hand and shoulder a little. I lead her slowly around the room, and she follows immediately. We've been in tune all throughout the class, always aware of what the other needs and how to move, almost anticipating every move. Right now is no different.

She keeps her eyes solely on my face, no one else matters. We don't need to see what's around us: the couples, her Mom, everyone vanishes from our little world. It's just me, Bella and Doris' words filling the air.

When the last notes fade into the air, we stop, but don't break our close position. I see curiosity in her eyes. She's probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me, and all I want to know is who she is and, once again, kiss those damn red lips that have been calling for me all through the class.

Without even thinking it, one of my hands moves from hers, slowly lifting to touch her soft-looking cheek. However, before reaching it, I come back to reality when I hear applause around us. I let my hand fall to my side, the other one still at her waist. It seems everyone has been watching at our little show. Renee looks smug in the corner with a happy smile on her face.

I duck my head and see Bella doing the same. I'm a little embarrassed, not only with people watching us dance around the room, but also because I was about to touch her in a way that might've made her feel uncomfortable. We've just met, after all, but she just makes me forget about everything.

"Alright, class. Nice work this week. That's it for the day, I'll see you next Saturday," Renee says to the group.

"Right, I guess I have to go now," I say without really moving. I don't want to let her go, but it doesn't look good to be holding her like this without the music. It does _feel_ extremely good, though.

"Yeah, I have to be somewhere else as well." She looks a little sad, maybe mirroring what I'm feeling as well. I want to ask her about it, but then Renee shows up, giving her a hug. I have to release Bella's waist..

"Well done, my dears," she says to the both of us. "I knew you'd be a great match." The glint in her eyes tells me that there might be something else to this, but honestly, if it brought me here, I don't care.

"Thanks, Renee. It was fun getting back to dancing again," I say, sincerely.

"And you did wonderful, Edward. I can see you are a natural at this, you just need to loosen up a little bit." I smile and nod. I can tell that with Bella as my partner, I could loosen up just fine… or be a nervous wreck the next second from having her so close.

"So, I'll see you next week?" I ask not looking at her, but at Bella. Will she be back as well?

"Of course, dear. Bella and I will be here next week." Renee smiles and squeezes Bella's shoulder.

"Thank you, I had a nice time, Edward." I just love the way my name sounds coming from her. Now that the class is over, I can hear her much more clearly.

"Me too." We slowly shake hands and I gather my things. We meet at the door on our way out and say goodbye again. We head in opposite directions.

When I get home, nothing can ruin my mood. I even help Mom with the cooking. She eyes me for a few moments but smiles and goes back to her chopping.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

For the next three months that is my Saturday routine: I wake up early, drive to Port Angeles and spend not nearly enough time with Bella.

That first class quickly transformed into teasing and easy conversations. She's so easy to talk to; I think it might be the Swan girls' way. Alice was similar, but she didn't hold my attention as Bella does.

Since we're not only at the studio to talk and tease, we also concentrate on our dancing. I'm actually getting much better and Bella is the perfect partner. However, I not only dance with her, we even swap partners at times.

Ever since that first class when we dance to Doris' song, people are eager to have us as their partners as well.. I dance with small wrinkled ladies that pinch my cheeks leaving me wincing, and Bella dances with guys that reminisce the good ol' times with her.

But it's always my time with Bella that leaves me the happiest. From the way she looks at me with those beautiful green eyes, I think she might feel the same way.

We dance salsa, her hips moving from right to left, her ass looking amazing from the view she gives me when I'm behind her; we dance the tango, her body moving in such a sensual way. I still have dreams of her touch and hot breath touching my cheek.

I always hate it when the class ends, and I have to go back home. But my time there has turned into the best of my week; we even started a small tradition. No matter what kind of music we are dancing to that day, we convinced her Mom to always end the class with Doris. We become bolder in our teasing and movements with that song, and even though it signals the end of my day with Bella, I can't help but feel excited when the beginning notes fill the air.

We laugh the entire time the songs play, singing softly or mouthing the lyrics at times. I always tease her with them, whispering softly to her.

_A million times I've asked you,_

_And then I ask you over again_

_You only answer_

Bella always smiles and leans to my ear to whisper the final words.

"Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps."

She then kisses my cheek and leaves, giggling all the way to the door. I live for that giggle.

I know more about Bella now that the months have passed: I know that she _loves_ cinnamon and sci-fi books and is going to the University of Washington to be a social worker. She wants to help others, especially kids. We talk about everything and nothing, and I learn a lot about her by just _seeing_ her, without having to ask questions.

However, we don't see each other for the rest of the week, because not only is school kicking our asses, but also, it's like Saturday at the studio is _our_ world, each of those days a date just for us. Even in a room full of people, it's only the two of us in there, so we try to keep it light and fun, just learning about each other, not bringing in problems from outside.

I want to ask her out, God, I so want to, but I want to get to know her first, and with one day a week to do so, it's a rather slow process. We text during the week though, just silly jokes or little things we're thinking or doing at the time. They always make me smile and hope mine make her feel just as happy.

In a way, it already feels like we've been dating all this time… minus the kissing.

Man, I still want to kiss her badly.

During our classes, I also learn that she's flirty and playful, always moving a little more sexily when she knows I'm checking her out, which is a lot. I know she checks me out too, so I do the same. I just hope I don't come off as having a seizure, but from the way her eyes widen when I catch her taking a peek at my ass, I might be making the right moves after all.

We wink at each other, and I'm often the one blushing from that. Bella always wears dresses or skirts to class and I just love the way they fall down her body, the perfect outfit for our classes: they dance with her, swaying when she does.

She's nice and cares for others. I've seen how she helps older people at the entrance or how she dances with them, always patient. She loves her family; her eyes light up when we talk about Alice.

I simply can't stop being attracted to her, to anything she does or says.

It's with that notion and the fact that I can't stand it anymore, that I resolve to ask her out on a date. I like her and I know she feels _something_ for me. I've tried to be patient and wait for the right time, but it will never come unless I _make_ it the right time.

So, the following Saturday, I enter the studio with a new resolve: not taking 'no' for an answer.

I find her talking to a couple of ladies and when she turns to look at me, instead of finding the usual bright smile on her lips, I see a sad one, forced.

I'm instantly worried and I go to her, intent on finding out what's got her so sad.

"Hey." I say and take her hand. She lets me and for a spilt second, I forget that I'm worried about her.

"Hi, ready to start dancing?" Like her forced smile, this question sounds more like avoidance than real eagerness to start dancing.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I tug at her hand and guide her to the side of the room, trying to give us privacy.

"Nothing, let's just dance. Okay?" She tries to lead me back to the center of the room, but I won't let her, I won't let her tell me that she's fine when she obviously isn't.

"Bella, talk to me. We're friends, right?" When did the word 'friend' started leaving a bitter taste in my mouth? "There is something bothering you and I want to help."

She looks out the big windows to the outside; it's actually a nice day today, and she doesn't try to move us again. I stare at her profile and each second that passes makes me panic. What the hell happened? A few seconds later, her shoulders sag, and heaving out a big sigh, she turns to me.

Fuck, she looks so _sad_.

"I'm leaving, Edward, this weekend actually. Please don't ask me more questions, it's complicated and I'm still processing this." She shakes her head and runs a hand through her hair.

Leaving?

"What do you mean, you're leaving? What happened?" I know she asked for no questions, but what the hell does she really want?

"Please, Edward, don't. Let's dance today and forget about everything for a little while. Please?" Her eyes are shiny with tears and right then, I know I can't deny her anything, not even this.

I'm disappointed that she doesn't feel like she can tell me what's happening. I could ask Renee or even Alice, but if Bella doesn't want to tell me, then I should respect her wishes.

I'm sad to not be able to ask her out and see what we could've been together. Fuck, we could've been great, we _could_ be great.

I'm angry for having waited too long to make a move. I'm so stupid.

With a sigh, I nod and lift her hand to my lips. It's useless to ask her more about it, I'd just be pushing her away.

The lesson is obviously not flirty as usual. There is a sad cloud above us all throughout the hour and often I can see that she wants to tell me something, but at the last moment, she decides against it.

The rest of the time we say nothing; we're both deep in thought, moving almost without thinking about it. We've done this enough times to pull it off. We just dance and let our movements do the talking instead: Some are teasing, like it's our thing; others are more desperate, where I pull her closer to me while she fists my shirt.

We don't let any space come between us; we just keep touching and dancing. The feeling of our movements is much more powerful than ever, and I revel in every touch of her skin, every short graze of warmth under my finger tips.

She looks at me many times while we dance, her eyes so sad but also with a glint that I haven't noticed before. I'm not sure what it is, but for just that tiny moment, she's the Bella I've come to know these past months: happy, beautiful, bright.

I'm about to ask her about it, I can't stand the silence between us anymore, when the music changes and makes us both still our movements and look at each other in shock.

It's the beginning notes of our song, the last song we will dance.

Slowly, we start to sway, mirroring each other's steps. If this is the last song, then I'll take advantage of feeling her close for one last time. I let my hands touch her body more freely, her hips, her waist, her back, and she does the same to my body.

I feel like we're alone in this moment, just dancing in an empty room, surrounded by words about a possibility. I move my hips and whisper the lyrics to her ear. Bella giggles, but her eyes are so serious.

_So if you really love me_

_Say yes, but if you don't dear, confess_

_And please don't tell me_

I once again mouth those last lines, only this time, it's not teasing; it's not letting myself being carried away by the song and by Bella. I feel like I'm telling her what I really feel, or the feelings that might've been.

I came today with a purpose, to see how she feels about me and see where we could go from here. Once again, a deep sadness tugs at my heart: all those times that I should've just simply asked her out, all the times when I wanted to press my lips to her.

Gone.

When I look at her, her eyes are bright and happy for a moment; I've never seen them like that before and it makes me forget that she'll walk away in a few minutes. It also makes me smile.

Her lips form a word that I can't decipher, like she's willing words to leave them and when she makes up her mind, she leans and whispers into my ear.

"Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps." She kisses my cheek.

I move my hand to that spot, not believing that I finally felt her lips on me, even if it wasn't on my lips. It takes me a moment to realize that she left through the doors of the studio.

There are no giggles left behind this time.

* * *

**And there ya have it. Don't be sad panda just yet. ;-)  
**

**Three more 'lessons' to go. Not sure when I'll post the next chapters, but it will be soon, since they're all written. :-)**

**Thank you for reading and see ya around, ladies.**


	2. Lesson Two: Dating

**Hello, pretties.**

**Thanks for stopping by once again for this. :-) The next chapters will be shorter, just in case. This was originally supposed to be a OS, lol.  
**

**Now let's see what happens.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. Any mistake is mine, because I change things like crazy.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

'Lesson Two: Dating'

"Ok, I'm out of here," I say to Garrett, gathering my books.

"Ok, man. I'll see you tonight at the party, right? Vicky has been asking about you." He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'll be there." Although, I'm not planning to hook up with Victoria.

I head out of the library and walk the ten blocks to get to the coffee shop where I work. It's a nice place, usually filled with students, which makes for a fun place, full of noise and laughter. I can't study on my breaks though, so I try to stay at the library as much as possible. This second semester of freshmen year is killing me already.

Today, I'm taking my first Friday afternoon shift. One of my coworkers, Mike, asked me to switch places with him since he was meeting his girlfriend's parents tonight. Poor guy, he was sweating like a pig when he mentioned this.

He'll be dehydrated by the time they get to the appetizers.

Five blocks into my walk, I pass the dance studio that I found the first time I took this route. I've never gone inside, but the music coming from the open windows always makes me smile and reminds me of last year.

The year of my dance lessons with Bella.

After she left me that last day at the studio, I felt both hopeful and sad about us. She seemed to be feeling the same way about me, but for a reason she didn't want to discuss at the time, our time together had to stop. _We_ stopped before even starting.

I often think about that time, and wonder what really happened. What could've been so big that she needed to leave immediately, without an answer? I just hope that wherever she is, she's okay and happy.

A few weeks after that day, I left for college with the hope that someday I'd see her again. I had her email address and after much thought, I wrote to her.

She didn't respond.

I wrote to her again, just one more time, trying to gauge if maybe she was really busy or for some reason hadn't gotten my first email.

She didn't answer that one either.

I stopped writing to her after that. She obviously didn't want any contact with me and the realization of that was even more painful than watching her step out of my life that Saturday morning. I was sad and crushed and suddenly, things became real. Until then, there had been at least a slight glimmer of hope.

She extinguished that hope with her silence.

It's bittersweet to think back to the days we spent together in that dance studio: they make me smile, remembering her movements and how she felt under my hands. They also make me feel sick that I won't have a chance to see where things might've ended up for us.

Still, Bella Swan was the best part of those months.

I hear the music coming from the open and windows and I smirk at their choice: Salsa. Those lessons had been fun last year: Bella moving her hips to the music, her eyes closed and her smiling face. All I wanted to do was leave my hands on her hips and follow the swaying movement with my palms. Everything about her drove me crazy.

I look at the entrance of the studio and notice the people carrying their bags to start a new class. My eyes start searching and for a second, I get this expectant feeling in my chest, as if I'll actually see _her_.

I sigh tiredly; I really have to let this go.

Just as I'm about to start walking again, I freeze when I catch a familiar flash of brown hair. I'd often thought I'd seen it, in clubs, at the coffee shop, in class, but it was never her of course. This time, though, it's not only the color that makes my heart speed up, but also a feeling rapidly spreading in my chest, something that I thought I had lost when it came to Bella: hope.

Not caring about potentially being late to work, I cross the street and enter the studio. I run down the main hall and check the classes taking place, there are two classes at the moment, and one is only for kids. That leaves only one other option.

People are already on the dance floor, some changing their shoes and talking, others practicing some moves. I look for her among them, not that there are many students, but my nervousness makes me do double takes at everyone.

I run a hand through my hair, frustrated. I can't find her, this girl who might or not be Bella. Once again my imagination is playing tricks on me; it must have been the sight of this studio that is making me see things. But that feeling in my chest is still there, I can't be that wrong, right?

I might have to change my route next time.

With a big sigh, I turn, ready to leave and feeling foolish for getting this crazy about it.

"Ok class. Take your positions and let's start the lesson." I stop when I'm about to cross the threshold. That voice.

I close my eyes and slowly turn to that voice. My imagination can't be _that_ good.

When I open them, I see on the other side of the room, with her back to me, a girl setting the music to start the class.

She turns and walks happily to her students, most of them already starting to dance.

And I see her.

And I smile.

And I stop breathing.

Bella.

I can't take my eyes off of her; she looks even more beautiful than before. Her dress accentuates more of her curves, and her hair is longer than last year, falling down her back. She even looks a little tanned.

Months and months of wondering what she might be doing, where she might be living, simply fly away. She's here, here in Chicago. Right in front of me, within reach.

When she turns to my direction, after giving instructions to a couple, she sees me. Her eyes widening for a second, surprised at seeing me here, but then they turn warm and a big smile appears on her full, red lips.

"Edward!"

I smile back and then we're both walking toward each other. Without giving it much thought, we envelop each other in a hug when we meet in the middle. God, I've missed her so much, and holding her like this, I forget all about these past months and the hurt of her cutting ties with me.

Right now, I don't care. I don't give a fuck. She feels the same, _I_ feel the same: warmth running all over my body, electricity jolting me and making me hold her closer.

"Oh my God, you're here!" I can barely hear her over the music, but that doesn't matter, she could be reciting the recipe for macaroni and cheese, and I'd be happy just to hear her voice once again.

"Bella," I say against her hair.

So many feelings crash over me all at once, feeling her like this. I feel happy that I'm reuniting with an old friend once again. I'm excited for what could happen now and I feel relief at holding her body close to mine after all this time, seeing her safe; but most importantly, I feel just as connected to her, if not more, than the last time we saw each other.

We break the hug and I look at her, _really_ look at her, still not believing that she's here.

"How are you here, Bella?" That's the first thing I can think about, a thousand more piling up behind it.

Her smile is now sad and when she opens her mouth to say something, a woman taps on her shoulder. It is at that moment that we realize that we're in a room full of people. All with wide open eyes staring at us through our exchange.

"Bella? Are we going to start the class?" She doesn't look annoyed, more apologetic at interrupting us instead.

"Oh, of course, Kate, sorry." Turning her attention to the rest of the class. "Just give me a second, guys. In the meantime, start warming up a bit, ok? I'll be right back."

Bella tugs at my elbow and leads me out of the room, closing the door behind her. The hall is much quieter.

"I'm sorry, but I have to give this class." Now _she_ looks apologetic. "But I want to talk to you, Edward. I have _so_ much to say. Can we meet afterwards?" She sounds hesitant, afraid that I might say no.

As if I would.

"Of course, Bella. I need to head to work anyway. We can meet there after my shift. 9 ok?" I don't really want to leave but we both have responsibilities to attend to.

She nods and even though we just agreed to a meeting, I'm scared that she might not show up.

I tell her where I work and, barely believing she's here, I leave.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

For the rest of the day, I'm a disaster. I mess up the orders. I forget others. I don't know how my boss doesn't fire me on the spot. I just can't help but think about Bella and keep checking the front door, even when it's nowhere near 9 pm.

I clock out, and I think my boss actually sighs in relief. I sit at one of the tables and wait for Bella to show up. I'm surrounded by coffee all day long, so usually the mere thought of coffee makes me gag, but now I desperately need one.

When I hear the bell chime at the door, I see her. I can't keep my eyes away from Bella as her own eyes scan the room. Not only do I feel like I can breathe easier seeing that she actually came, but a huge relief fills me, knowing that I wasn't imagining things earlier in the day when I saw her.

Shit, she's really here.

When she finds me, a small smile appears on her lips and slowly, she walks up to my table. The entire time, I can't stop looking at her.

"Hi," she greets shyly when she's in front of me, clutching her bag close to her body.

"Hi." I say and stand up. I don't know what to do. Kiss her cheek? Give her a handshake? Bella seems nervous and maybe debating the same thing, so instead of just standing here wondering what to do, I go for an easy question.

"Coffee? Tea? A muffin?" I motion to the counter, ready to get her anything she wants. She nods, looking relieved and sits down.

"Yeah, sure, a tea?" As I wait for our orders, I take a few deep breaths. She's here and hopefully, I'll have the answers that I've needed for the last few months.

It doesn't mean is easy, though, as we later sit in uncomfortable silence staring at our cups.

"So, how have you been?" I just have to break the damn silence.

"Good." She doesn't even look at me.

"Bella-"

"I'm sorry." We say at the same time.

"I'm just nervous. It was such a surprise seeing you there." She finally looks up and I'm met with those beautiful green eyes once again, although there is something else behind them as well: they look tired and so, so sad.

"I know, I'm surprised too, but glad I saw you." She nods a little and smiles. For a second, the sadness in her eyes is not there and she looks like the Bella I met last year. However, before anything else, I need to know something. "Bella, how are you _here_?"

She sighs and looks out the window. She doesn't say anything for a few moments, just looks at the people passing by. I give her that time to sort her thoughts, even though, inside, I'm dying to get answers.

"My Dad, he-" She takes a big breath. "He got sick last year. I found out the week before our last lesson." She looks at me sadly. "You see, my Dad lives alone, he has no one, except for Alice and me, and Alice is far away living her life. I just couldn't leave him like that, alone and facing this with no one to hold his hand and take care of him.

"I talked to Mom and she said we might be able to hire someone, but I knew it would be a strain on everyone. Financially, I mean. The only solution was using my college fund to pay for everything."

Her dad got sick?

"Mom and Dad fought me on this tremendously, but it was the only way, Edward. So, I decided to give that to him and help him get better, take care of _him_. I moved in with him here in Chicago, for this experimental treatment that seems to be working." She smiles.

Fuck, I don't know what to say to this. Her dad was sick and she pretty much sacrificed her education to help him? And she's been here this entire time? Why didn't she contact me?

The second that last thought crosses my mind, it starts growing. Why didn't she contact me? Why didn't she simply say something, _anything_, right before leaving? I thought we were friends, yet she kept to herself a large part of her life.

I shut my eyes close, feeling angry at her, at her situation; but also like an ass for making this about how _I_ feel. She had her reasons for doing it, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I take a few breaths, trying to calm myself.

"I'm so sorry about your Dad, Bella. I wished I had known; I would've been there in a second." I open my eyes and, pushing these thoughts aside for the moment, I hope she sees I'm being honest. Slowly, I move one of my hands on top of hers; she doesn't move it away and even squeezes it softly. That small action calms me instantly and the anger starts to dissipate.

"Thanks." She nods and looks at me right in the eyes. I'm sure she saw my earlier reaction, but for the moment, she doesn't ask about it. "He's getting better now, and Alice comes whenever she can." She smiles sadly. Now I understand the look in her eyes: she _is_ sad and tired from all of this.

"I work at the dance studio to help with some of the bills. I really love it there; I already have my favorite students." The smile she gives me this time is actually genuine.

"I'm glad." I nod and have no idea what else to say without turning this into a big conversation about her life. I have so many questions, though. How is she, _really_? Why didn't she say something? Why didn't Alice mention something, the few times we've emailed?

However, from the look on Bella's face, I think it best to keep the questions for another time. Talking about her Dad being sick was hard, I don't want to overwhelm her with more things, but I will ask them.

"And you?" She clears her throat. "How have _you_ been?" Changing topic and taking a sip of her tea, I know I was right. The big conversation will have to take place another time.

"Studying and working. That's all." I shrug, still not letting go of her hand. It seems like nothing compared to what she's been doing.

"Come on, there must be more than that." Her tone is teasing, but when I look at her eyes, it's like she's begging me to play along, to tell her about my life.

So I do.

For the next hour I tell her about my life in college. I try to make her laugh with stupid stories about me and my friends, and she looks happy when she talks about dancing and her life here. The only black spot is her Dad's illness, which she doesn't explain further and I don't push.

"It's late, I really have to go now." She gets up and gathers her things.

"Right. Do you live close by? I could walk you home." It's past ten, after all.

"Yes, just a few blocks from here, but you don't have to walk me home. You must be exhausted."

She's lived close to me all this time?

"But I want to." No way she's leaving alone.

The walk is silent, but after talking for the past hour, the air between us is actually comfortable. I think we're both processing the fact that we found each other again.

"Here it is. This is me." She motions to the entrance of a small building.

I nod and look up. I've seen this building on my walks from work. Little did I know that she had been so close to me all along.

"Thank you for the tea, it was great seeing you, Edward. I'm glad you're okay." She touches my hand and gives it a soft squeeze.

"You too, Bella. I'm glad things are getting better for you and your Dad."

It was great seeing her again, but standing awkwardly in front of her building, I think back to her unanswered emails. _She_ never contacted _me_, and even though now I know she had far bigger things to worry about in her life at the time, the hurt and anger at her not trusting me once again seeps in.

She seemed happy about our encounter, but perhaps she doesn't want to see me again, like she hadn't since that Saturday morning. After all, had it not been because I followed her to the studio, we might've never seen each other again.

Still, the next words are out of my mouth before I can even process them.

"Maybe we can meet again?" I close my eyes. I'm such a masochist and an idiot.

When I open them, I see her simply looking at me, her eyes reading my face for something. It makes me fidget a little bit; she still has those incredibly expressive eyes and now that they're focused solely on me, it's hard not to feel nervous and at the same time, I can't look away.

She finally leans forward and whispers to my ear.

I can't move.

"You know where to find me." And then she heads inside, a small smile on her lips.

I watch her walk away and disappear behin the door to her building. I have so many questions, which I'll ask, but for that to happen, I can't let her run away from me again.

On my way to a friend's house I go back to the dance studio the next day, Saturday, and sign up for her Saturday morning classes. Happily enough, they are similar to those we took last year.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

Today is my first class with her. I haven't seen her in a week. Classes and work are kicking my ass. It's also given me time to think of all the questions I want to ask her and to keep playing her words over and over for some clue as to why didn't she tell me anything about her dad. I came up empty.

Today I show up early, hoping to see her before class. When I enter the room, she's there getting ready.

"Hey," I greet her, and she turns her face to me. She looks surprised, but then smiles.

"Hey, stranger. Long time no see."

"Well, you'll be seeing me at least once a week now, since I am taking this class. I hope you go easy on me." I wink and she smiles, surprised.

"Really? This class?" She giggles a little, excited.

I really have missed that giggle.

"Oh, I don't know." She teases, shaking her head. "You might suck at dancing and might hold my class back. We'll have to wait and see."

"Well, I did have a dancing partner one time. She kinda sucked; I had to lead her all the time," I say, faking exasperation.

"Is that so? Well, if you're as good as you say you are, she might've been a better partner than you think. Maybe she _let_ you think you were leading, you know, to not bruise your ego and all." Crossing her arms, she waits for my answer.

"Oh, that male ego. It's a bitch for finding dancing partners." I shake my head.

The laughter of other students interrupts her answer, and then she's in teacher's mode. It's quite amusing to see her command the room the way she does.

Right there I see the flaw in my plan to come here: Bella won't be my partner. It really sucks, and I can't believe how much of an idiot I am, but at least I'll get to see her.

However, Bella has a better idea. All throughout the class she uses me as her dancing partner to show the positions. It works since there are an odd number of people in class. When she makes the rounds I stand to the side and watch her work. She's the same Bella that I met before: patient with the students, firm when they make mistakes but not mean to them, always encouraging them to try again.

When she gives me a mischievous smile on her way to the stereo, I know what she'll play. Doris.

I follow her and, face to face, I place one hand on her waist and the other one holds hers. Everything is so familiar; it almost doesn't feel like we've been apart at all. It's like we've spent every Saturday together like this for the past months.

We start dancing to the familiar tune and the rest of the people do the same, all free to dance as they wish to the song. It's the perfect ending to the lesson.

We keep moving and, much like before, it's like our bodies just know what to do: left to right, back and forth. We never take our eyes off each other and I find myself getting closer to her as the song plays. However, when we get to the end of it, we pull back, not ready to tease each other with those three little words anymore.

We stay behind after everyone leaves and I invite her to have a coffee or tea with me. At the coffee shop, we talk some more and slowly things start to feel more like before.

For the next few weeks, we fall into an easy routine: I go to class all week, work some shifts at the coffee shop and on Saturdays we dance for an hour. After her class, we have coffee and talk about our week.

At some point, I can't take it anymore; I have to know what the hell happened to her. I love our routine, but things are starting to feel too easy, like we can forget about last year and move on like nothing happened. I can't do that. The anger and hurt are growing again and I'm sure, pretty soon, I'll start to resent her.

I can't do that.

So, one Saturday, I finally confront her.

"Bella, why the hell didn't you tell me about your Dad? About your decision to not go to college like you planned to? We talked about that, you told me all those dreams you had for the future and I told you mine." I see her hurt face, but I have to keep going.

"I thought we were friends, at least _I_ considered you my friend." My tone is harsh. "Wasn't I enough? Was I a bad friend?"

A sob escapes her and she covers her mouth with her hand.

"Oh God, Edward." Her voice is muffled and she shakes her head.

"I'm so sorry, so, so sorry." She repeats over and over. I move to her side of the table and hug her.

"Is that what you've been thinking all this time? That it was something _you_ did?" Her voice cracks.

"Well, yeah. What else was I supposed to think? You left without explanation. I thought maybe we were not friends after all. I mean, you dismissed me pretty easily."

"Oh God." She pulls away from my arms and moves to cup my cheeks.

"Don't ever think that, Edward. Ever. It was never you; this was absolutely _my_ doing and nothing on your part. There was so much going on that week, I just couldn't handle things, I needed to focus solely on my Dad and not on what I was giving up."

I take her hands on mine and look at her.

"I just couldn't tell you that I was leaving, Edward. Leaving my Mom, putting my future on hold, leaving _you_." She looks so young saying this, like the 18 year-old she is.

"My Dad was, _is_, my main concern. I can go to college in the future. It'll just take longer, but I can't lose him, knowing there was something I could've done for him."

"Bella, I could've been there for you, just to talk or whatever you wanted," I say, irritated. Did she not think that I would be there for her?

"I know, Edward, believe me, I know. But I didn't want that for you, I wanted you to go to college and fulfill your dreams, unlike me. You needed to focus on that, not consoling a friend that you met and knew for just a few months." She hiccups, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Is that what she really thought? That she was just a friend, like any other that I would forget after leaving for college?

"I thought this would be better, to just walk away and have the memories of those months forever. But, I never thought you'd feel like your friendship wasn't enough, like we weren't even friends.

"I made such a mess of things. I made the decision for you and left you thinking something that could never be true, because Edward-" She looks at me, so serious and stern. "Your friendship was _everything_ to me."

I have to close my eyes when she stops talking. This is _so_ much information.

Her decision to not tell me anything was in part because she needed to focus on her Dad, and I absolutely understand that. Sometimes we need to leave the things we care about aside in order to face the challenges of our lives; but at the same time, we also need support, friends and family, and she willingly let that go. She was a 17 year-old girl making huge, life-altering decisions.

However, what makes me angry is that she's right: she made the decision _for_ me, she didn't give me the change to be there for her or not. She thought she was deciding for my own good, but instead she made it worse.

"Fuck, Bella," I hiss.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I open my eyes and on her face, I really see that she's sorry about this. It still doesn't erase it.

I take a breath and pull her closer to me. I'm not sure what the hell to do now; I just know that I want to feel her close. Even angry at the situation, her touch calms me and that's what I need right now. She cries into my shirt, repeating that she's sorry.

She did what she thought she needed to do, good or bad. It made sense to her, even though now she sees that there were better options. Maybe that makes her cry too: what she lost because she refused to see.

After that day, we don't contact each other for a week. I have so much to think about, but in the end, the main thing is that I want her in my life again. Yeah, what happened sucked and I hope she won't do it again. She said she wouldn't and I promise myself that I won't let her walk out.

The next time I see her, we just hug and relief is all I feel. We say nothing; we understand that this is our second chance.

However, the more I see of her for the next weeks, the more my feelings for her start to wake faster and faster. After she cut me out of her life, I had started to think that perhaps my feelings for her were just an infatuation on my part. I was only seventeen after all, but after finding her again I realize that I was just deluding myself thinking that.

They were real.

My feelings are different than last year, but good different. I'm now seeing more of the real Bella; she's finally letting me see _her_. The good and the bad: she can be selfless, not only giving up college to help her Dad; but she also took the weight of the world on her shoulders, not telling anyone how hard her life became.

Because of everything she has to still deal with her Dad, I decide that it's best to take things slow. It will give me time to get my act together, and it will not overwhelm her with everything she's been through. That is why one day I finally grow balls enough to invite her on a date during the week. She accepts, and the thought of seeing her on a weekday makes me ridiculously happy.

I'm finally doing things the way they were supposed to be.

When she greets me at her door, she's wearing a knee-length green dress that matches her eyes. That, added to her chocolate hair and fair skin makes me remember the first time I saw her and the combination of colors makes me think of Forks and its surrounding forests.

She makes me feel like I'm home.

I give her pink flowers and she introduces me to her Dad. From what Bella's told me, he's doing better and the treatment seems to be working. He even gives me the 'Dad talk.' It's scary; _he_ is scary.

I take Bella to a small, cozy restaurant not too far from where she lives. I chose it in case she wanted to get back to her Dad if there was an emergency, but also, because I wanted us to walk there. The night is nice and this way I can see her face under the streetlights. She's as gorgeous as ever and not just physically, but now there is also an aura around her: lighter, freer.

When I leave her at the entrance of her building after the date is over, I can't help myself and I make the first move, pressing my lips to hers. I've been waiting for this ever since I first met her, but experiencing it is so much better that I forget about all those months apart.

Her lips are soft and warm, and there is a faint taste of the cheesecake we had for dessert. They move in tune with mine and just like all those times before at the studio, we know how the other one moves, what the other needs and they mold according to that. Kissing her feels like dancing.

"Was about damn time," she whispers against my lips, and I grin like an idiot. We're both trying to catch our breaths, and all think is that I want to do that over and over.

I think I do little dancing moves all the way to my place that night.

We continue like this for the next couple of months: dancing, talking, kissing. We even returned to finish our dances with those whispered _'Perhaps'_ words. Hearing them doesn't feel sad like when we found each other again. They now feel like the old us.

It's like heaven, but it will come to an end soon; for when the summer arrives, I'll be going back to Forks to help my Dad at the hospital. I made a commitment and can't ignore it. Bella will stay here in the city, taking care of her Dad and working.

Like before, we don't talk about what will happen to us yet. But this time I _will_ bring it up; I won't leave without us talking first.

For the time being though, I enjoy this stage in our relationship, and I try to tell Bella my feelings in the only way I know how at the moment: through dancing and whispering lyrics only for her ears.

And even if I have to ask how she feels a million times, I will, because right now, her three little word answer keeps giving me hope, and that's all I need.

"Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps."

* * *

**And there ya go, I can't keep them apart forever.**

**The next chapter will be up next Sunday and then the next one, the following Sunday.**

**Have a great day.**


	3. Lesson Three: Loving

**Hello again, pretties.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help and any mistake is mine.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

'Lesson Three: Loving'

"One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four." I count out loud and try to guide Mrs. Robertson as we dance. She's a nice lady who's always so eager to learn new steps. Poor Mr. Robertson follows her around, but he always wears a happy smile. Today, however, he was unable to come to class so I offered to be her dancing partner.

"There you go, Gladys. You're doing great," I tell her, and she looks so proud.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm getting a little tired though, maybe you should go get Bella and dance with her." She winks at me and we both look at Bella, as she gives instructions to another couple.

"I know you've been dying to dance with her, boy. Go." I want to protest, but it's true. I've been watching her all morning dancing and itching to go to her.

"Thanks, Gladys." I kiss her cheek and go to Bella. She senses me and looks up, smiling.

"Hey, you. I thought I'd come over and give you a chance at dancing today." I wrap my arms around her waist.

"That's very kind of you, but what about Gladys?"

"She sent me here, actually. Maybe she doesn't like my moves." I pout, which earns me a peck.

"Then maybe we need to practice and practice and practice." She kisses my nose, cheek and lips. She's such a tease.

It's been three months since we started dating and so far, we haven't slept together. We've been giving ourselves space and time to really know each other, but also, we have nowhere to be alone. She lives with her Dad, and I live with a roommate.

Lately, however, it seems the pressure is just too much. We take longer to say goodbye and our kisses and groping are getting more heated. I've never taken this many cold showers before.

We are about to crack.

Today, we only have time to dance our last song together, and it's great as ever.

Afterwards, we leave to have lunch. Since her Dad is getting better and better, Bella feels more comfortable leaving him on his own. Today he's visiting some friends in the city, which gives us some time to ourselves.

"Why don't we go to my place? My Dad won't be back until four." She looks a little shy, but the look in her eyes and her words are anything but. I kiss the hell out of her, and after buying our food to go, we almost run to her place.

I've only been there a couple of times and only in the living room, so when we leave the food on the kitchen counter and Bella starts kissing my neck and jaw, I know I'll be seeing more of her place.

We truly can't keep our hands off each other, and just like a practiced dance, we remove our clothes slowly, leaving them askew on the floor. It's not an awkward dance, fumbling with zippers and clasps; it's actually more like we anticipate each other's movements and know exactly what the other wants and needs. Soon enough, we end up naked and kissing and touching on her bed.

With her naked in front of me, I realize just how much more beautiful she really is. It's far better than anything I could've imagined. And I've fantasized about her a lot. A lot. Now I can see her skin and feel it in contact with my own. All this time I've imagined her body and how it moves when we dance and now she's here, in front of me.

"Edward," she whispers, and I sigh against her sweet mouth.

When I'm finally inside her, we start moving as one. It's just like practiced choreography: when she pulls, I push; when she scratches my back with her nails, I arch it and push harder inside her; when I graze her thigh with my hand, she lifts it over my hip so I can thrust deeper. I kiss her when she comes, swallowing her cries, and she moves her hips just so that I'm falling with her.

All the time the room was filled with moans and grunts, but also with soft words against each other's skin. There was no need for more than that. We knew what the other needed without having to say it.

We lay on her bed, and I focus on her soft breathing, running my hand through her hair. The moment is so peaceful and I have the strong urge to wake up next to her like this every day for the rest of my life. I have to take a few big breaths, trying to get my thoughts in order, and I suddenly remember a conversation with my Mom when I was twelve.

_I went downstairs after hearing my Mom's car in the driveway. She was back from grocery shopping._

_I entered the kitchen and I saw her putting things away, the music from the radio floating all around the room. She always listened to that oldies radio station._

_"Mom? Can I ask you a question?" It was something that had been nagging me all day._

_"Of course, dear. Shoot," she said, without looking at me, as she opened a bag of cookies._

_"What is love?" Everybody talked about it, sang about it. Just what the heck was it?_

_"Love?" That made her turn. She regarded me for a few seconds and then sat down at a stool next to the kitchen island, folding her hands in front of her. Cookies forgotten. Dammit._

_"Love, huh? Well, that's complicated. There are different kinds of love. Love for your family, friends. But I guess the one you're asking about is the love for a partner, a girlfriend." She wasn't asking so I just shrugged._

_"Being in love then. That's, well– amazing. You feel like that person is your match in every way. Some say your other half. You can't understand how you lived without them before. But now that you've met them, you never want to let go," she said with a dreamy sigh. I rolled my eyes; because it was the way she always looked at Dad._

_Gross._

_"You want them to be happy and that happiness makes _you,_ in turn ... happy. Sometimes that means staying away and that can be very painful. That's another thing about love, it can be amazing, but it can also be very painful."_

_Well, that was confusing. You could be happy if they were happy, but if that meant that you have to stay away, wouldn't that mean that you'd be _unhappy_?_

_"You'll know when you fall in love, dear. She'll take your breath away and being apart is just not an option. But you have to respect her space as well; I don't want you to go all stalker on her. Hear me?" She was serious and I only nodded. _

_Mom could be scary._

_"I know it's confusing. But believe me, you'll know when the time comes." She was smiling again, looking out the window. Again, the look she gives Dad._

_I just looked at her. Will I look like that?_

_I moved closer to her and took a cookie. She barely noticed me there._

_Love was weird. I should've asked Dad._

I look down at Bella, resting her head on my chest. I _love_ her and it's not an infatuation; this is deep and strong, and I want to tell the world about my feelings for her.

I love her and I think it's time to put my heart out there and tell her.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

After the day we slept together, we really can't keep our hands to ourselves. I steal kisses every five minutes while in her dance class; I walk her home whenever I can with my crazy schedule; she visits me often at the coffee shop and there we talk while I serve people.

It's all pretty cool actually and even though I need a lot of time to study, I make time for her. I'm so happy all the time even my grades are improving; it's ridiculous, but it's easy to remember anatomy when Bella serves as a model and I kiss her body. Time to be together, the naked kind, is rather scarce, but we make it through. Seems Bella is rather ... adventurous.

Who knew?

With the end of the semester, not only is there less time to be with her and more time needed to study, but also the deadline is approaching. I'll be leaving and she'll be staying and so far I haven't even said the words I so desperately want her to hear.

I'm studying at the library and I can't seem to concentrate enough to learn this stuff. I'm trying to figure out when we should talk about our future and it's driving me crazy.

"Edward? Did you hear me?" Peter, a friend from study group, asks me.

"What? No, I'm sorry Peter. My mind is all over the place today." So frustrating.

"That's ok. Although it doesn't look like it's just today, you know? You've been happier lately and I'm glad for you. But this week? You're going all emo on me." He laughs but I see concern in his eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm a lousy companion today." I close my book.

"No worries, man. If you wanna talk, I'm here."

I debate whether to tell him something or not. I feel what I have with Bella is so us, that I don't want to share it. Maybe I'm scared about what people will see in the two of us.

The hell with it.

"It's a girl. I have strong feelings for her, but I don't know if she does as well. I think she does, but we're always teasing about it and not really saying anything. And after the semester is over, we'll be separated for two months and I still don't know what will happen after that." Saying it out loud makes it so much more real now.

"Well, it seems to me that the answer is obvious; you need to _talk_ to her and tell her what you just told me. You're fretting over it and maybe she is too."

I stare at Peter in wonder. I've never seen him this serious about anything, but then again, I've never felt this way before for anyone.

"I know. You're right." He is, I'm just scared of the outcome of that talk.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

It's Saturday again and in one week, the semester will be over. In terms of dance lessons, I have only two more left with Bella before leaving, and I'm nowhere near knowing how to approach the subject.

"Hey there, missed you this week. How was your exam?" Bella asks, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Missed you too, baby. I did okay. I just have to wait and see, but I think I'll get a good grade." Her scent calms me, and for a second, I forget what the hell is going on in my life.

"That's great. I'm sure you did fine. Now let's dance."

The class is fun as usual. We move and play around the room. Whatever happens, I know I'll miss this over the summer. I wish we could still do this for the next two months.

While we dance, my mind drifts. I remember how sad I was that first time we separated, but now that I know my feelings for her; I'm certain sadness will be the least of what I'll feel when we part.

"Hey. Come back." I look down and there is Bella, concerned eyes staring at me.

"Sorry." I hug her, and we keep dancing and dancing. She doesn't ask me more.

When our final song comes, the memories rush over me, and I can't help but feel like should tease her as always, all sad thoughts forgotten. But when those three little words leave Bella's lips, I know that I can't hear them anymore; I can't hear another 'perhaps'. Words that at one point gave me hope, now only tell me of what might never be.

Always a 'perhaps', never a certainty.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

During the following week, I start packing and let my parents know about my plans once again. Dad is really happy about me coming to work with him and Mom is just too giddy to talk. Even so, she can tell that I'm not myself.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I just ... I'm so confused, Mom."

Mom knows about me and Bella, and was really happy when she heard I was dating her friend's daughter. Apparently, Mom and Renee had always thought we'd made a cute couple, but things never worked out that way. In the end, it was Renee who felt we needed a little push. Mom stays silent and for a second I think maybe the connection was lost.

"You're not confused, honey. You're scared." Mom, right to the point of the matter.

"How could I not be, Mom?"

"Edward, do you remember that talk all those years ago when you asked me about love?" Of course I remember, it was an important conversation, even though, at the moment, I didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

"I do."

"You're my son and seeing you falling in love has been one of the greatest joys I've had. The way you talk, how 90% of your conversations involve Bella in some way. I knew falling in love would be great for you. But I also feared it would be too hard for you if things didn't work.

"I told you love could be great and you've seen it first hand, but unfortunately you're also seeing the hard part. I can't tell how Bella feels, but you need to talk to her. It's the only way."

I sigh.

"Don't be scared, honey. Love is scary, but you know it can be great."

She's right. I'm scared to tell Bella and have her tell me that she doesn't feel the same, but even if that happens, nothing will take away the time we spent together and the high I feel by just being around her. Whatever happens, I'll always have what happened these past two years.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

I don't have time to see Bella again during the rest of the week, so I call her and we agree to have lunch after class. I'll talk to her then.

When I enter the studio on Saturday, I feel a little sad that I won't be coming here in the near future, or ever again if things go badly.

Bella also looks different today. She doesn't have that spark that I love; she doesn't tease and banter with Mr. Livingston, and I often find her just staring out into space, deep in thought.

When we dance, I pull her even closer to me, wanting to feel her move next to my body. She doesn't mind what I do, and I even feel her hands tighten on my neck and shirt.

I revel in every tiny movement and sound she makes, trying to commit to memory not only our dances, but also the times I've felt her body naked against mine.

She keeps looking up at me, trying to tell me something, but the words never leave her lips. At times, I think she might feel the same way for me, and that she's struggling to say the words. Those bright, big green eyes can't seem to stop holding my gaze, almost daring me to find the words she's struggling with.

It is then that I realize that no matter what happens during the summer, if I know she loves me and she knows I love her too, we'll be okay. We can figure out the rest.

When I hear the always familiar melody fill the air, I know this is the only way I have to tell her what I feel for her and at the same time, ask her how she feels about me. Dancing has been such a part of our time together, especially this song; that it just fits.

_If you can't make your mind up_

_We'll never get started_

_And I don't wanna wind up_

_Being parted, broken-hearted_

I whisper to her ear and she smiles, beautiful and real.

_So if you really love me_

_Say yes, but if you don't dear, confess_

_And please don't tell me_

This is the last verse and it usually means that our time between these four walls ends. Only this time, I can't let her tell me those three words she always teases me with; today, I need an answer, _something_. So after I sing to her, I place a finger to her lips, stopping her from saying a word.

"Just tell me, Bella. Do you? Do you love me like I do? No more 'perhaps.'" There, I said the words that have been bubbling to escape my lips for weeks.

Her eyes shine with unshed tears, but other than that, she does nothing, says nothing.

And with that silence, I get my answer. She doesn't love me.

I leave and don't look back at her to show her how hurt I am.

* * *

**Oy, communication is not in their vocabulary. Lots of mistakes. :-( Don't be sad, there is time to fix things. One more chapter to go. **

**Happy Easter if you celebrate and a Happy Sunday for everyone.**

******Thank you for reading and see ya next week.**


	4. Lesson Four: Forever

**Hi, lovelies.**

**Thanks for stopping by and now let's see the last chapter, ok?**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help and any mistake is mine.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

'Lesson Four: Forever'

It's been a month since I left Bella standing there at the dance studio. A month since she didn't say anything back.

I can't stop the way it hurts, even though I had told myself that I'd let her be if she didn't feel the same way about me.

I often smile thinking about our times together; dancing with her at the studio, dinners all over the city, walks during warm nights, ice creams in the park. But even with that, I can't help the times when I feel the hurt of her not reciprocating my feelings.

Still, I think I understand more about what my Mom told me all those years ago. I love Bella, and she doesn't feel the same, but I'm happy knowing that she's out there, moving on with her life, even if that means she'd be silly and teasing with someone else.

Fuck, that hurts.

The good thing about being back is that I was working a lot lately, so it prevents me from thinking about her that much. It is at night when the memories come back, though. Which makes for very long nights as of late.

I've also realized that studying to be a doctor is my true calling after all. I can't do diagnosis of course, and I'm more of a candy-striper than anything, but the rush of the hospital flow, and the smiles you can see when a person comes out of there healthier has no comparison.

From Monday to Friday I wake up early and I'm home by three. It's fewer hours than usual, but that's the program here in Forks since there are not that many emergencies like a city ER.

I've also been able to enjoy the hot days, swimming and taking runs around town. Still, I can't help but think about how Bella would like sitting by the river while we dip our toes in the water or how she'd like to walk this secret path through the forest I found when I was ten.

This will be a long summer.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

I get home from work and I see Mom at the kitchen baking cookies. I've missed these times. Home.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, honey. How was work?"

"The usual, a bit chaotic but alright. I'm learning a lot though." I take a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sit on a stool.

"That's great. Your Dad is really happy with you there, bragging to everyone." She rolls her eyes, but her smile tells me that she's been probably talking about me around town as well.

We talk for a bit while she bakes, and I tell her about college and work. It feels so comfortable and familiar.

I'm browsing through some magazines when, in between two, an open envelope falls out. When I pick it up, I see that it's actually a wedding invitation.

"Who's getting married?"

"Oh, that. Um ... Alice. Alice Swan is getting married at the end of the summer."

My breath catches. Alice is getting married? We haven't talked that much lately, and in thinking about my conversations with Bella, I remember she mentioned the wedding. I just never thought my parents would be going.

This wedding also says that Bella will be coming back as well. At the end of the summer, Bella will be back in Washington.

"Oh."

"Yes, you know Renee is my friend, and Alice was a sweetheart to invite us over. It's actually for the three of us."

Going to Alice's wedding? Could I do it? I like Alice, but being in the same room as Bella could be too much.

"I'll have to see about my schedule. I'm gonna take a shower, okay?" I don't wait for her answer and leave for my room.

The rest of the week I just can't stop thinking about the wedding. Bella will be back. Will she bring someone? Will she avoid me if I go? Does she even care?

Fuck, love sucks.

I busy myself with work and fun times. I go to parties and joke around with friends, but even when girls flirt with me, I see Bella's jade green eyes everywhere I look. I usually go home early.

I look at the calendar every single day, knowing that the date for the wedding is just around the corner. Mom hasn't mentioned anything about it and never asks me about Bella, something that I'm grateful for.

As the weeks go by, I become more and more restless and even though I said I'd be happy if she's happy without me, I can't stop thoughts of her. I go from smiling to getting angry in seconds.

How did I let myself fall for someone that was never going to feel the same for me? I want to be mad at Bella, but I can't. She's not to blame for what she feels... or doesn't.

During all this thinking and sulking, I came to see that I never really closed that chapter. She never said the words, but she never denied them. I had been so hurt that I never gave her a chance to say them, to say _something_. I know it sounds hopeful of me to think this way, but the closer the date comes, the more I make up my mind that I need to go there and face her. She needs to tell me what the hell _does_ she feel.

It could very well be the stupidest decision I ever make.

O~o~O~Perhaps~O~o~O

On the day of the wedding, I get ready and I'm nervous as hell. Mom says with a knowing smile that she already RSVP'd for me. I want to roll my eyes at her, but the fact that she knows me so well, scares me. So I don't.

I follow my parents with my own car, so I don't have to wait for them if I want to leave early.

We get to the church and I can't help but look for Bella among the guests. I can't find her, but then I realize that she probably is the maid of honor.

When we're all settled, the doors to the back open, and I don't give a damn that we're here to witness Alice's wedding; right now, all my attention is on Bella.

She floats down the aisle in a knee length burgundy dress. The contrast of her skin color and the dress makes her look even more ethereal. Gliding up to the altar, holding her flowers, I can't stop the images of her doing the same in a white dress, walking towards _me_.

God, I'm such a masochist.

She turns to look back, and her eyes stay focused on the back door, where Alice makes her appearance. Unlike the rest of the guests, I only focus on Bella.

Just as Alice reaches the minister, Bella turns in my direction and our eyes lock for a few moments. It might've been a second though, but it feels just like one of those moments when you feel time slowing down just for you.

She flushes a bit, but other than that, she doesn't look like anything happened. Throughout the entire ceremony everything seems normal, except for times when it appears as if she's turning her body my way, trying to get a better look perhaps.

Everything is a blur and before I know it, it ends. Alice leaves and Bella wraps her arm around the best man's. I want to go to her, but when I make my way outside, the entire wedding party is posing for more pictures, and I just can't talk to her with so many people around.

We all head for the reception, and when we look for our seats, I see that we're actually really close to the main table. From where I'm sitting, I'll be able to see Bella all night.

I look toward Alice. Maybe not only Mom and Renee are the ones meddling in our love lives.

When Bella arrives, once again I can't stop looking at her. God, she looks even more gorgeous than ever. I haven't seen her in nearly two months, yet I can see changes in her. She looks skinnier and her hair is a little shorter. She looks tired too; maybe Alice had her working hard with the wedding arrangements.

Food arrives and I have no idea what I eat. Mom talks to me, and I don't know what she says. I only see Bella. I want to go to her, but she's always talking to someone, looking so happy and free, laughing and hugging. It reminds me of the Bella I got to know, and the longing for her is so strong.

She catches my eye and smiles softly, almost tentatively. I wave a little, but before anything else happens, she's dragged away by a woman to talk to someone else.

I know some of the guests and talk for a few moments with them. I even talk to Jasper, Alice's new husband. He's great and perfect for her, and I notice how his eyes drift in her direction while we talk.

Alice joins us and linking her hand with Jasper's, she tells me all about her plans and what has she been doing. I've heard a little from Bella, but Alice's stories are much more colorful.

It's both beautiful and painful to see just how much Alice and Jasper love each other. Especially not knowing if I'll ever have that with Bella.

Mom asks if she can dance with me and I want to tell her no, but I have no real reason not to, except that it reminds me too much of Bella.

Bella also dances with her family, and I even see her Dad. He looks so much better and happy at his daughter's wedding. I hope that now Bella can go to college. She always talked wistfully about that possibility. She never admitted it, but I can tell she really wants to go.

I'm dancing with Mom, passing couples around us. She's happy that those classes paid off.

"How are you, honey? You know, with Bella around?" She looks worried, even when she's having fun.

"Honestly?" She nods. "I don't know, Mom. It's so hard seeing her today. It's easier and tougher at the same time, you know? All I want to do is touch her, but I can't. At the same time just being in the same room is calming. I just don't know."

"My sweet boy. So complicated." She pats my cheek.

"I think there is more to this situation than you think. I've talked to Renee and Bella hasn't said anything to her, but she said that she sounds more tired and sad than ever, and seeing at her today proves she's right. This affected her too. Look, you have her here in the same room, take the chance and see what happens."

So it wasn't just me that thought she looked skinnier and more tired. I worry; I don't like seeing her like that.

"May I cut in?" A soft voice asks from behind me. I don't have to turn to know who it is.

However, I do look back, and there she is, looking hopeful and a little scared.

"Of course, dear." Mom smiles at Bella. "I'm going to go find your father now. He can't have too much cake." She leaves and winks at me.

Bella and I are left standing there. I hate that it's so awkward.

"Shall we?" I open my arms showing her that I want to dance. She comes without pausing.

Having her in my arms again is so overwhelming, I feel like taking a step back from all the sensations and at the same time, I want to bring her closer.

We start to sway slowly, getting used to our connection.

"So, how have you been? How's the hospital going?" she asks timidly.

"Oh, great. A lot of work and all, but I'm learning a lot. I made the right choice with medicine. I can't wait to start treating people." I smile, I _am_ happy about that.

"That's good. I'm happy for you; I know you'll be a great doctor." Her smile is sincere.

We keep dancing and slowly it starts to feel like us again, except that it's not. We're dancing like we've always danced, but the main issue is still hanging in the air, and it's becoming more and more difficult to ignore.

"Edward, I-"

"Bella-"

"You first." I say.

She looks up at me, tears starting to fall.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm so sorry. God, it feels like I'm always doing something to hurt you. I've been thinking about that day so much for these past two months. I just-" She's crying now, and the fact that she's apologizing for not feeling the same way I do makes me feel like an asshole.

"Bella, please don't cry. I was the moron here; I should've stayed so we could talk. Instead, I ran." Like a fucking coward; hurt and embarrassed.

She cries into my shirt, hiding her face from everyone. To the other guests, it might look like we're holding each other closely.

I move us softly from left to right, begging her to stop crying. I hate seeing her cry.

"Bella, look at me, please." I can that feel she has stopped, and now I need to tell her what I should've months ago.

When she does, those eyes that I see everywhere gaze up at me. Shiny with her tears and big with curiosity. Her cheeks are flushed and tears are drying on them.

I move my hands to her neck, the pad of my thumbs rubbing gently on her cheeks.

"_I'm_ sorry. I should've talked to you sooner, but I didn't out of fear and now all I did was make us miserable. I was scared for what you'd say, and then I just blurted it without even giving you time to think."

Shaking her head, she buries her face in my shirt again. I can feel her breathing in a steady rhythm while the beating of her heart under my fingertips on her neck, makes me feel grounded. We are calming each other, just by being here, close.

A familiar tune envelops the room and when I look around us, only a few couples are dancing, including Alice who winks at me and turns to her husband. I smile at all the meddling our families do.

"Alice," Bella grunts into my shirt.

I lean back and take our usual position to dance this. Bella smiles and does the same, and we happily start moving our bodies: hips and legs and arms. We move almost without thinking, but easily remember the movements that the melody brings. It's like the music is guiding our bodies, not us following the music.

Every time the three words that sealed our fate resound in the room, Bella turns around and dances around me. I can't see her face but I always hold her hand.

When the last verse comes and I know that it will end with her saying the same words she always does, Bella surprises me and stands on her toes, and kisses me. Sweet and slow and sexy with something that feels so foreign and familiar, all at the same time.

Love.

When I open my eyes, she's grinning at me, all sadness forgotten.

"This is what I should've done that day, Edward. I should've let you know that it will never be perhaps. Never. It can't be that perhaps I love you' when it is already a certainty. It always has been." She smiles. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

I can feel and see that she's being truthful and in her eyes I see the same look Mom had all those years ago in her talk about love.

"Then why didn't you say anything before? Why didn't you call me this summer?"

"Because I was scared, Edward. Love is not enough sometimes. It didn't work for my parents, and I didn't want us to end up like them. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to say the words, but it scared me, just how much I feel for you. It's like too much love." She laughs, tears again falling down her cheeks.

"Too much love? There's not such a thing, Bella." I kiss her cheeks, her salty tears on my lips. "And we're not your parents. We'll be okay." And I really do believe that.

"I wanted to call you so many times during the summer, but I was afraid you might be angry at me."

I sigh, we've both been so stupid, making assumptions about each other and how we feel.

Well, no more. I'm making it clear.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I say it because she needs to hear it and I need to say it.

"And I love you, Edward Cullen." She smiles up at me and fuck if her eyes aren't the brightest shade of green I've ever seen.

Home. _She _is home.

I barely let her finish when I'm spinning her around and nuzzling her neck. Her sweet laughter is all I can hear, the fabric of her dress all I can feel against my hands and her fast heart beating against my chest all that grounds me.

It beats for _me_, only me.

We don't need Doris anymore, but we thank her two years later at our own wedding reception.

We'll make our own songs and dances from now on.

**The End.**

* * *

**And that's it. Hope you liked this little journey with ups and downs. Moral of the story? Communicate, you guys. We leave too many things unsaid and assume too damn much.  
**

**As I mentioned in chapter one, this was a story I submitted for SU4K last year. The story was written for the lovely Katalina, a pretty soul who was fighting cancer at the time and all she asked for were donations for cancer research. Sadly, Katalina lost her battle to cancer last month. She survived much longer than what was expected, showing how much she loved life and did not give up.**

**This is dedicated to her and everyone who keeps on fighting.**

**Thank you and take care of yourselves, ladies.**

**Love, CL82**


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